me-the least expected person to ever cut herself. life again has gotten on my nerves. things are going shitty again. at some point i just can't stand it but i can't tell anyone about it cause i know what they'll think - that this isn't such a big problem and i'm just being immature and making a big fuss out of it. life has given me obstacles still I bite my tongue say it's wonderful. and i know nothing i do can make things better, and it's better when i do nothing. at times it's just how things go, i got problems but keep it to myself. i know i got people who i could trust enough to tell this to but it's just not such a big problem- i could handle it. maybe. i'm thinking of leaving home and everyone there for a couple of days maybe? i need to get some rest. i'm seriously tired of all the drama. i just wanna walk around and talk to people without trying to hide all those problems i have.
i just wanna be with my buddies like before, open up and let myself be free. all i ask is for a day where i don't need to do any work or be scold at. i don't wanna cut anymore. i just wanna be who i am for once this year, i wanna laugh my ass off without being scold to keep it down, i wanna hang with my friends and boyfiend without having my mum around, i wanna eat outside so i don't need to wash everyone's dirty dishes for once, i wanna sleep at someone's house so i won't hear anyone shouting out my name to do more never ending chores, i wanna do my exams without caring what grades i get, i want someone to support me and believe in me, that's all. my parents don't even trust me which is so 'freakin awesome' -,-
that's okay i'm fine, I. AM. EFFIN. FINE
oh god i'm such a good liar :')
Lots Of Love,
Syuhadah
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